Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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