i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
