I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Drake has all the answers
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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