think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
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you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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