Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you win again, gameday.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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