My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
