Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
