Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
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The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
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All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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