I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
