I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
