dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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