Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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