I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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