Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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