I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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