i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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