I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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