Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
