Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
