yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Let's paint friendship bongs
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
