So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
