its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
