this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
