drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So much Jack, so little girl.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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