I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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