I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Randomize
