I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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