God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
