My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
