So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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