Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This is the high leading the old right now
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
