I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
