True but thats because hes a fetus.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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