Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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