Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
