is your mom at the bar?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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