So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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