What did we do last night that was yellow?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
