finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
soo... how was my night?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
