I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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