marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
