Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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