ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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