my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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