If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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