no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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