She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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