Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just invented taco cereal.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
