So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize