Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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