I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
