why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
