My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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