i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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