I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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