I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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