the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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