He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
