She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
