I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there was a trapeze. enough said
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
