Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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