Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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