dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
